HAVE_XXX defines.

This fixes three longstanding problems:

- the API was hard to use because some headers had HAVE_XXX ifdefs, so
  that cient codes had to know how the lib was compiled to compile
  themselves

- we had to do make clean after each ./configure, which erased too
  much (e.g. most of contrib)

- make depend could include unwanted stuff since it redefined FLAGS